Maybe, Maybe Not: A Year in Review
Books, music, learning, and equanimity
I came across a certain parable this year. I heard it again, on a podcast, just a few days ago.
A farmer and his son had a beloved horse who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbors exclaimed, “Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe, maybe not.”
A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a few wild horses back to the farm as well. The neighbors shouted out, “Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe, maybe not.”
Later that week, the farmer’s son was trying to ride one of the horses and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The neighbors cried, “Your son broke his leg, what terrible luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe, maybe not.”
A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all boys for the army. They did not take the farmer’s son, because he had a broken leg. The neighbors shouted, “Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!” To which the farmer replied, “Maybe, maybe not.”
German’s call this week between Christmas and New Years, “zwischen den Jahren”—the time “between the years.”
The end of a year and the beginning of a new one sends most of us into a time of reflection, a time of anticipation, or some combination of both.
When I read and reflect on the above parable, the word that comes to mind is equanimity. It’s a word I’ve had rolling around in my head and heart for a few years.
Last month I had the chance to ask someone I highly admire what they thought about equanimity. Sharon Salzberg is a world-renowned meditation teacher and author. She was a surprise guest during a three-day coaching program I was participating in virtually. After leading us through a 20-minute lovingkindness meditation, we had the chance to do a brief Q&A with her.
“How would you describe equanimity and how do you think about cultivating that kind of mindset and way of being?” was the question I asked.
She smiled warmly. “You know, I just did a full workshop on equanimity just this week, so it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot,” she responded.
She went on to describe many facets of equanimity, what the OED defines as “a calm state of mind that prevents someone from becoming upset or angry, especially in difficult situations.”
Sharon used phrases like “the allowance of letting things unfold” and “the ability to hold more than one thing at a time.” She described a deep understanding that we are not the savior of anything and that equanimity leads us to having compassion for our self and others at the same time. It is a kind of “caring…and yet not caring or maybe not attaching is a better way to put it.”
Some time later, the image of a simple wooden bowl came to mind as I continued to think through her reflections and wisdom. I imagine myself holding the bowl and depending on how present I am, how grounded and openhearted I am, the size and capacity of the bowl gets larger or it gets smaller.
When the bowl is small, its contents tend to slosh and spill out. I’m able to hold less and I can feel the tension in my hands. When the bowl is large, the same amount of water or sand still moves with the motion of my hands and the bowl, but without spilling over and without sloshing. The bowl is large enough to contain what it is holding and I find my hands more steady, more calm. I can hold more and I can more freely offer what I have to others from my bowl as well.
Maybe the image and metaphor of the bowl isn’t exactly clear enough as I describe it now— it’s a new metaphor in my mind. However equanimity might be described and whatever images help to communicate its truth, I know equanimity is something I want to cultivate more of in myself. For my sake and for the sake of those I encounter.
And Now For Something Completely Different
I enjoy a good list.
Okay, I love lists.
I have a list of favorite words (based on mouthfeel), favorite movies from each year since I was born, and Pixar rankings, to name just a few.
And there is no better time than the end of the year to review and make more lists that scratch the surface of telling the story of a year.
In late January, prompted by some coworkers, I decided to see if I could listen to the entirety of the Rolling Stones “500 Greatest Albums” list.
I made it through 131 albums. 1609 tracks, 101:01:01 play time. Slightly more than a quarter of the list, though I do intend to keep going.
Between albums ranked 500 to roughly 370, here are the ten I enjoyed the most:
Taylor Swift, 1989
George Harrison, All Things Must Pass
Boyz II Men, II
Bo Diddley, Bo Diddley
Creedence Clearwater Revival, Cosmo’s Factory
Billie Eilish, WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?
Radiohead, In Rainbows
Lynyrd Skynyrd, (pronounced ’lĕh-’nérd ’skin-’nérd)
John Mayer, Continuum
Otis Redding, Complete & Unbelievable
I set a goal to read 18 books and actually completed 24!
You can find the full 2023 list here (with the exception of three audiobooks exclusive to Pushkin, about Steve Martin, Paul Simon, and Mary Oliver respectively).
My top five favorite books I read this year were:
Master of Change by Brad Stulberg
Born a Crime by Trevor Noah
Soul Boom by Rainne Wilson
Optimal Illusions by Coco Krumme
Built to Move by Kelly Starrett and Juliet Starrett
You can find my list of “Books I’ll (Probably) Read in 2024” further down in this dispatch.
Learning
My learning wasn’t limited to books this year. I played a lot of chess (mostly 3 and 10-minute speed games) — averaging to about 6.5 games a day. I had a losing record, so clearly, I still have a few things to learn.
I am dusting off my (very dormant) German skills as well. (As of this writing, my streak is actually up to 96 days and minutes spent is much higher.) In the new year, I’ll be looking for ways to go beyond the app and get into some real-time practice with other humans.
Spotify Wrapped
Nickel Creek’s Celebrants was my album of the year. (I was a top 0.1% listener of Nickel Creek listerens. And I saw them in concert!)
Madison Cunningham was my new artist of the year. (Just listen to “Life According to Rachel”)
Here is my Top Songs of 2023 playlist Spotify made for me.
Miscellany
I gained 3.4 million new photo views on Unsplash.
I visited 9 states and two countries.
I planted an apple tree and it produced four apples (honeycrisp!).
I visited 4 new state parks, taking me to 19 of 24 in Indiana.
New (and new to us) board games we enjoyed:
I watched 50 movies. 21 were rewatches.
15 of the 50 came out in 2023 and my favorites were Oppenheimer, David Holmes: The Boy Who Lived, The Holdovers, Wild Life, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, and Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie.
Other movies I saw for the first time and thought were great (but were not new in 2023): Little Women, Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, Derek DelGaudio’s In & of Itself, and Summer of Soul
My Favorite Reel of the Year
Heading into 2024
This is long enough so let’s just jump to the part where I share the books I want to read in the new year. No summarizing paragraph or pithy quote.
An invitation: I want to read some of these with you!
Take a look at the list and let me know what grabs your attention. Then, let’s read it, pick a date, and talk about it!
See my 2024 “Books I’m (Probably) Reading in 2024” list.
If you’ve read through this end-of-year dispatch, thank you! I’m grateful for your time and whatever level of connection we’ve enjoyed in 2023. Next year, let’s take it up another level and continue to support, share, inspire, confide, and celebrate whatever the new year brings to each of us.
Adam, I LOVED reading your thoughts on equanimity. It’s a concept I’ve thought a little about, but never put a word to and it describes well something I’ve been trying to reflect on going into 2024.
I also really enjoyed all of your lists. Life According to Raechel was one of my favorite songs of the year too. The reel was spot on. Your photos were beautiful (as always). I’ll have to pull from your books read in 2023 list for my 2024. Let’s read Cosmos and East of Eden together! I have been wanting to read both.
Thank you for sharing!