Navigating Change Without Going Back
Stability by way of change, not despite it
March has ended and April is here. Spring is arriving in fits and starts. Anyone else feeling scattered or overwhelmed? đ
Change has been a common thread in my recent workshops and coaching conversations. People navigating change, anticipating change, trying to figure out how to resist or undo change. Maybe theyâve decided to embrace the change, but itâs hard.
It makes sense. When change hits, when something shifts that you didnât choose or didnât see coming, the instinct is to go back. Back to what was familiar. Back to what felt comfortable. Back to âA,â back to safety.
But hereâs what I keep running into, both in my own life and in the lives of the people I coach: sometimes A isnât an option anymore. The path is cut off. Reality has shifted and trying to get back to A keeps us stuck in the messy middleâin exhaustion, resentment, grief, overwhelm.
Thereâs a concept I taught during a recent workshop. It wasnât in the slides, but it came back to me like a lightning strike. It comes from biology, but itâs deeply relevant to how we navigate life.
Most of us are familiar with the idea of homeostasisâthe bodyâs process of maintaining a stable, balanced environment despite external changes. Think of your body temperature or blood sugar. When something shifts, the body reacts to pull things back into the safe and comfortable range.
This is good biology. But itâs not a good strategy for navigating constant change (which we all are).
Instead, thereâs another concept: allostasis.
Allostasis is about creating stability by way of change, not despite it. Instead of reacting to maintain conditions, allostasis is about anticipating future needs and adapting to create a new kind of stability going forward.
Itâs not about getting back to A. Itâs about moving toward C.
Think about a tree in autumn. It doesnât try to hold onto summer. It doesnât resist the shift in temperature or fight the shorter days. It drops its leaves. It conserves energy. It adapts to whatâs coming and in doing so, it survives the winter and can actually be ready for spring when the time comes.
Thatâs allostasis.
And I think thatâs what most of us are trying to do when weâre navigating hard things. Weâre not trying to go back to who we were before. Weâre trying to figure out who weâre becoming and how to move toward that without burning out in the process.
I donât think all change is good. I donât think everything happens for a reason. I donât think we should just âembrace the journeyâ and pretend the hard stuff isnât hard.
But I do think trying to get back to Aâtrying to undo whatâs already happenedâkeeps us stuck in B. In exhaustion. In resentment. In the constant feeling that weâre running but not getting anywhere.
What if, instead, we could move toward C? What if we could create a new kind of stabilityâone thatâs built on adaptation, not resistance? What if we could find clarity without having it all figured out?
Spring is a season of renewal. And this spring, something Iâve been working on with so much excitement is about to bloom. More on that soon.
But for now, if youâre navigating something hard, if youâre trying to figure out how to move forward when going back isnât an option, I have a few coaching call slots open this week and next.
No pitch. Just clarity.
Weâll talk about where you are, whatâs stuck, and what might be possible. Youâll walk away with at least one new perspectiveâwhether we work together beyond that or not.
Book your discovery session here: optimism.coach/discovery
Where might you be trying to get back to A when what you need is to move toward C?
Iâd love to hear what this brings up for you. Reply to this email or leave a comment below.
Links to Check Out
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This dispatch was written to music, including the 2021 Album, Laysongs, by Chris Thile.