There is so much noise in the world right now.
It brings with it a kind of disorientation—where decision-making seems harder, because the normally reliable relationships or data points or norms we would rely on are out of whack, distorted by an ongoing pandemic that is challenging relationships at every level.
The instability and unfamiliarity seems to bring on, not just disorientation, but almost a kind of depression. For some, it feels like this is just how it will always be now, a constant need to be cautious and protective in many aspects of life. For others, it bubbles up a kind of anger (or even rage) at what feels to like an overly sensitive and emotional response not warranted by anything other than hype. Resignation and anger can both be signs of depression.
But what is it we all really want right now?
We want certainty more than anything else.
And the pull toward certainty (not to be confused with clarity or belief) can have these same effects.
Needing certainty, for some, can lead to a kind of resignation in times where there is so much noise and upheaval happening. When the lack of certainty seems unending and puts us at endless risk for pain, suffering, and loss, it’s easy to find yourself feeling numb, a loss of interest in things you enjoy, low energy, and a sense of hopelessness.
Still, for others, the driver for certainty can lead to acute anger. In pursuit of certainty, immense mental and physical energy can be spent in pursuit of control and stability. But in a complex society, stability and control are rare. Especially when others see the world differently or when those with authority or control make decisions that seem contrary to your own personal control and stability, this stirs up frustration, anger, and even rage. It’s not rational, to be clear, these strong feelings. But that doesn’t invalidate them. Still, anger may be covering over other core emotions and feelings, like sadness and grief.
I don’t have a solution for any of this. I think I probably waffle back and forth at times, experiencing my own kind of resignation and frustration. But I also know how we think about what we think about, and how we think about the experiences we have, is a massive blind spot for many people, myself included.
This is where I want to bring in a few other voices, wise teachers who, from a distance, help me figure out what to do with everything I think and feel and experience.
"Once you give your thoughts too much certainty and centrality, they will almost immediately grant onto a legitimating emotion—tightly and righteously. Once emotion reinforces thought, or vice verse, it triples its power over you.” – Richard Rohr, Just This
In our Western, post-modern, enlightened, tech-savvy culture, we put thinking above all else. The problem is two-fold: we assume our thoughts are accurate and we label emotions/feelings as thoughts without realizing it.
Thoughts aren’t bad. Feelings aren’t bad. It’s just that neither of them are entirely accurate or reliable. Both thinking and feeling are aimed at certainty, to be sure, but that doesn’t mean they will actually get you what you need or want.
“So stop thinking?” Nope. Just stop thinking that your thinking will get you certainty.
“Letting go of the need to be certain isn’t the same thing as letting go of thinking.” – Peter Enns, The Sin of Certainty
Continue to think critically, rationally, deeply. But we are fundamentally emotional creatures with the ability to think rationally. If you try to avoid, limit, or deny the emotional parts of your and other people’s decision-making process, you’re cutting of a foundational part of not only the individual experience but the human experience as a whole.
At some level, we have to trust that we don’t see everything. And we have to trust, at some level, that we are experiencing what we need to in order to continue to grow and develop—both at the individual and the communal level.
“Trust means letting go of the need to know, of the need to be certain.” – Peter Enns
\So what do we do? When I feel entirely certain in my thinking and decision-making process—and yet others seem to be making very different decisions or feel differently about our shared circumstances—and vice versa—what’s the way forward?
What is most needed in our world today is non-anxious presence. – Walter Bruggeman
This non-anxious presence doesn’t come from a certainty of being right, a self-righteous, but an acceptance of the mystery and the grace that allows me to be whole in my imperfection and perfection, an acceptance of true and false self and forgiving reality for what it is, including the reality of me and the reality of others.
Another phrase from Richard Rohr I carry with me is that “everything belongs.” The good, the bad, and the ugly are part of the journey. I wish it weren’t the case, but it is.
And so, when things are ugly or seem to be objectively bad, I try to practice including it in the story, recognizing it as part of the journey that is and has to be. Spending emotional and mental energy trying to deny it or operationalizing why it doesn’t have to be this way gets me nowhere. But with acceptance, then and only then can the experience offer me something in the way of growth and an opportunity to rewrite the rest of the story going forward.
In fleeting moments, this might feel like joy.
"Joy is not about pleasure, a mere sensation, but a pervasive and constant sense of well being. Hope in the goodness of God is joy’s indispensible support.” - Dallas Willard
So this doesn’t mean just accepting reality and letting it play out, me detaching from caring or trying. But accepting reality for what it is, with grace and openhandedness, then I can make decisions about doing good, with empathy and compassion, and not simply trying for my own private comfort or certainty.
When the right is at war with the good—always choose the good. - Erwin McManus
To Read
“The Thoreau I didn’t know” // big fan of HDT and his writing is well-suited to our times
Gender-neutral pronouns aren’t new // a history lesson with some heart
What’s Your Practice? // Great questions here, including “What do you do that supports your growth, curiosity, and humanity?”
Lessons from the Rainforest // “Meaning evolves faster than people do”
Podcasts
60 Songs That Define the 90s: Weezer—Say It Ain’t So
Broken Record: Jeff Goldblum Gets Jazzy
The RobCast: There’s a Lot of Water in the Water
WorkLife with Adam Grant: We should allow sad days, not just sick days
Radiolab: The Queen of Dying
Revisionist History: Lord of the Rankings
For the Road
The Romantic poet John Keats said a unifying feature of the great artists throughout history was ‘negative capability,’ which he defined as the acceptance of “uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.”